only living boy in new york

"Half of the time we're gone but we dont know where,
And we don't know here."


bittersweet goodbyes.

shoulda woulda coulda. suppose fate should decide.

Morning Post

SO WEIRD. I naturally woke up at 9:30AM when I went to bed at 4:30AM...and I feel WIDE AWAKE. Who does that?!!?! I wish this happened to me when I was studying for finals. Hm, I think part of the reason may be that my body told me to wake up and hydrate myself!! I don't know how much alcohol I drank last night, which is quite bad, but I did not throw up, so I am quite happy with the outcome.

I ended my last final on Tuesday afternoon and felt sooooooooo liberated. Reflecting back on the semester, I realized I let the academic part of EAP hinder me from fully enjoying myself here in Hong Kong. With my vulnerability to anxiety and stress, I felt strained with the amount of studying and work ahead of me and missed out on opportunities of travelling. At the same time though, I had the mentality that my opportunities are more spread out in the year so I didn't have to pack it all in. It was a good semester though, I think. A great one to start with some new little lessons learned that I can take with me in the new upcoming year of 2009.

Wasted

Time has been wasted, or NOT! I have a 3000 word paper that I have only written 1/3 of, and it is due tomorrow at 5 PM. HOLY CRAPPERONIES. So what was i doing from 9-3:30 AM last night? I was not working on it, of course. Instead, I got ready to go to the Fringe Club, where 3 indie rock and electro pop bands were performing. It was fun, and a new experience for me, considering that I haven't been to a low key concert catering to a small audience in a bar/lounge with a stage.

The first performance was so loud...they were a French rock band that I very much enjoyed, but the level of decibals blasting through the speakers prevented me from enjoying the performance. Yarrrr.

The second performance was a Hong Kong rock band. The bass player did not show his face--his back was turned towards us the entire time they were performing. What a mystery.
Third performance was my favorite! They were called A Roller Control...and they played electro-disco punk according to HK Live!. I felt the energy in my body from the catchy beats they mixed up. Too bad the whole crowd didn't feel it.

When I arrived back home to my hall, I took my McDonald's to a friend's room and just talked...and also keeping him from studying.


I have never tried so hard to get a D in a class. Eff this. For those who know, I try to do well in school, but for this class, I am only getting credit for and even if I took it for a grade, it would only count as an elective...which I have more than enough units for. Stupid EAP (Education Abroad Program) just requires me to a minimum amount of credits here and stupid School of Social Ecology will only accept 5 major core courses that I take here for the EAP.

HKU, in collaboration with EAP, hinders me from fully experiencing Hong Kong.

Enough with the whining though, it's time to start my day...Shower, Eat, and not sleep until I am done/punished.

Baby Hamburger

This photo made me crack up so hard. I can't explain, but it's just so funny. I showed it to my room mate Lena and she did not laugh--she sympathized for the baby and was chuckling, but she was even possibly forcing herself chuckle. She may think I have a crude sense of humor. Do I?!

My First Dose of the HPV Vaccine

Today, I received my first of three shots of the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine. I contemplated about this shot for a little and even called my mom for help! It is not a necessary shot but the statistic of at least 75% of sexually active people being infected with the virus at some point in their lifetime encouraged me. Yes, the virus isn't super serious since most people who are infected without seriousness can clear without treatment, but I think I want to play on the safe side for this one. Plus, Gardisil (the vaccine I went for) is the only cervical cancer vaccine! I must remember that in 5 years, I should research for current information on any boosters I might need.

The funniest part of this process was the face of Charlene Choi (one of the famous Twins in HK) for the Gardasil campaign. I just started laughing to myself because I imagined a famous actress in the States campaigning for a Herpes ad. Imagine Hilary Duff on the face of genital herpes medication commercial? Oh my gah. I wish I could photoshop this! Anyway, when I was done with my shot, my arm had a bandage with the words "I did" all over it...haha. I also got a Charlene folder, Charlene tissues, and a Charlene plastered pamphlet encouraging the prevention of cervical cancer. Oh, Hong Kong. Why must your superficial celebrity stardom and media be so pervasive that it goes so far as to campaign for Gardasil?!

With much work to be done, I am reminding myself to write about the following topics in my next big blog!


-HK cinema class as a constant reminder of how I turned away from my true interests
-Peter Chan, he's the man!
-RC Cultural Night + crazy HK girls + hall culture shock once again with gossip + story about karaoke until 7 am and loss of friendship due to fear of gossip ...with uploaded videos
-Lantau
-Victoria Harbor yacht trip

In the midst of all things

It has been a long time since I've blogged. Much has happened, and I won't be able to remember everything that has happened, but I'll remember the big things that have happened! So much happens in one week, especially since time flies...

After that one week of midterms and papers, I was able to finally relax and loosen up by hitting the clubs (sometime in October)! Oh, how I love the nightlife in Hong Kong. I have never gotten drunk in HK, for one of the reasons in that I do not feel completely safe and trustworthy of the people around me. Don't get me wrong, I honestly feel safer in Hong Kong than I do in my neighborhood, but when it comes to the effects of alcohol, I cannot completely trust myself. If I can't trust myself, I better trust the people around me! In Hong Kong, due to the lack of space in homes, house parties are abnormal, so partying at a venue would be appropriate. With the strangers around me and the tiny public restrooms, I don't think I can really have a great back up plan. Well, anyway, that night I was pretty tipsy from the free cocktails at the different bars/clubs we hopped, so I definitely loosened up. At the last club, when we were leaving, I heard people looking and saying amongst themselves,"Is that Rihanna?" With my tipsiness and blurred vision, I saw a tall figure with star tattoos on her neck, then knowing it was really Rihanna!! Yeah, I saw Rihanna at Lan Kwai Fong in Hong Kong, of all places. It was probably 3 am or something, but she was speaking on the phone and she left, reluctantly waving good bye to us as we were bad mouthing her publicist for not letting us take a photo with her. It was not LA, so there was no paparazzi or crazy fans. Just...a regular Barbados girl with her posse. She definitely is not that famous in Hong Kong, so I really wish we coulda just taken a picture with her!

Hong Kong is finally becoming my home, and the United States is just...floating there, waiting for me to come back. I have gotten used to this vibrant city, full of selfish/crazy asians and delicious food. But, during elections, I really wished I was in America. I am living in this historic year of 2008. I am in China (though not Mainland China), the country that has held the Olympics for the first time in their history, and I am a living young American that has witnessed a female running candidate for presidency in my generation. Not only that, but, I have also witnessed BARACK OBAMA, the first black (or erm, half) primary candidate to have made the presidential elections...actually become elected as the President of the United States. I must admit, I am not up to date with politics and I cannot debate on some of the big issues, but it was a pivotal moment for me as an American nonetheless. I was unable to celebrate on my homeland, but at least I was able to celebrate with the rest of the world that finally agreed with America's decision. I watched Obama's victory speech in Chicago on CNN, twice. I felt hopeful that our country had some kind of new direction with a plan. Obama totally defied all odds and magnified the little spark of flame I tried to keep alive in me that represented some kind of idealistic notion that America was a country I could be proud to have my children grow up in. I know it can be very superficial for me to not proud of being American when the political and economic state is going weary, and all of a sudden be proud when I feel that there is some hope, but I'm not saying I was never proud. I felt pessimistic and bleek about the futuristic outlook of the country but I still felt American and was not going to just say,"I want to get out of here and escape." I was simply waiting and hoping and wishing for the what seemed like a futile nightmare we were living in under the Bush administration. Now, I can finally be a little optimistic and not be afraid of showing some hope, despite the toiling and long road of progress it will take for the newly appointed Obama regime to work on. Woohoo, long live America!

Say

I love John Mayer! He always has the right lyrics that seem to fit a moment. He can make words connect into happy little melodies that make me want to hum with the birds and buzz with the bees. Alot of artists can do this actually, but John Mayer gets credit for now because he makes me swoooon.

Say

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

Sexxx and Cyberport

On yesterday's Tuesday afternoon, two floor mates and I decided to watch a movie at Cyberport. It is a IT-themed infrastructure hub area on my side of the island. The architecture is very futuristic looking. I think I saw the Jetsons at the post office there. According to good ol Wikipedia, the design and area is suppose to attract quality IT companies to "help make Hong Kong the digital city of the Asia-Pacific region." Amazingly though, the area is quite isolated. I would think such a cool looking place would be filled with people! I mean, everywhere else in Hong Kong is packed with people. I guess it's because there aren't any retail shopping stores...Anyway, we watched a HK produced tragic romantic film called "Butterfly Lovers."

We were going to watch "Painted Skin" instead, but the trailer for Butterfly Lovers looked much more appealing. Plus, I was leaning towards a cantonese language movie since I am eager to improve my cantonese! Turns out, we regretted the choice as soon as the first 25 minutes passed. OH MY GOSH. I never felt such fake romance. They had famous actors in the movie, but the director and production of it all was just too over-the-top for me. Charlene Choi, one of the Twins, had such a fake and bubbly personality that just didn't fit the period of the movie. I don't even want to go on and list everything that was bad about the movie. The only justification for my staying in the movie was that entertainment in HK generally lacks quality--so I pretty much asked for the disappointment when I chose to see this. I swear I looked for reviews, but since it's a new movie, I couldn't find any.

I still haven't made my huge blog about my stay here, but for now, I will just try to update on what has been going on. If I don't ever write anything at all and just waited until I wanted to write one big one, I don't think I'd ever get to it. So, writing little blogs now will keep the ball rolling.

Dum dee dum dee doooo. Cultural moment of the day (though not a big one)! I sometimes walk around or wash my fash with my towel wrapped around my head for my wet hair. It's fair to say that girls do this. Well, when I was in the restroom washing my face with my towel on my head, a girl came in and exclaimed a surprised,"OH!" She then spoke in cantonese saying,"Wow, how interesting! Why do you do that?" I told her why and she said I'd have to teach her how to wrap the towel around her head sometime.

I have cultural moments almost everyday. I should keep note of them because they remind me that I am an alien here. Yesterday, a floor mate asked if I have ever watched pornography. I told her I've only seen porn in a motel because that was all that was available on TV. She widened her eyes and said,"Really? I thought you'd be the type who watched porn all the time!" Oh well, I wasn't offended. They thought I arrived to Hong Kong single and ready to mingle with 100 ex-boyfriends from the past. A100 (status equivalent to Available with 100 ex's). She wasn't as surprised as me though! Here is a girl who is a virgin and who has not had one boyfriend. She thinks that having pubic hair would decrease the friction of penis penetration during sexual intercourse, thus less "pain" would be inflicted upon the female. WHAAAAAT!?!?!?!!? Oh, that's another topic to be talked about. Sex education in Hong Kong is very poor. Well anyway, before I diverge any farther, let me go back to her interest in pornography. So I asked her if she watched porn, and she said she did. I asked,"Why do you watch porn?" (That's a fair question to ask in this scenario. It is given that people usually watch pornography for pleasure, but in this case, I highly doubt that.) She said it was for fun and for interest. If someone is bored, why not watch it? That sparked another question...if she was interested, wouldn't that mean she was sexually curious? This fascinated me--the thought of a innocent HK girl being sexually curious with porn and yet so oblivious to the idea of sex. So I then asked her,"So do you get horny at all when you watch porn?" The answer was,"Of course not!" You would think she were lying, but I don't think she was. It's funny. She started talking about how crazy Japanese porn was. She suggested that we should watch porn together when there was some free time...like as if it is just a tv show I'd normally watch plopped on the couch with a friend.

Wow.

Cooties link

Here's a video a friend showed me that I really enjoyed. It's a spoof on cooties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6ylxWcwkUM

How'd I get here?!

HelloOoo!! Wow wow wow. I haven't updated since February? So not a surprise. Well, since the last time I blogged, so much has happened. Too much. I really wish I wrote an entry at least every week. I am now in Hong Kong and another chapter of my life has already begun. From February until August, I was in the states finishing my second year at UCI. I was finally picking myself up from the academic screw ups I made freshman year in the dorms staying up all night doing who knows what! I feel that I was able to accomplish most of the things I wanted to at that point of my life. I built a foundation of friends in a place away from my family and normal group of friends that I grew in my adolescent days with. I have gained a broader sense of things and have learned about my surroundings. I know what kind of people I want to be around, and I know what kind of person I should be.

Reflecting back, I really have lived quite a life. Sure, it's not so glamourous compared to Paris Hilton and the Brangelina family but I loved every part of it. Of course everyone has their downer moments but it really is true that the bad memories aren't even remembered! I know for sure that there were so many times where I just wanted to cry from stress and the "big" problems at the moment--but as they pass over, I only remember the triumph of getting over those anxiety ridden days.

So, this is me. Standing unsteadily once again, learning more about myself at the point of being 20 years old. No longer a teen! Two years has gone by since I graduated college. Wow. I think I lived pretty comfortably. I was never too far from home and even living in an apartment was still comfortable. I was only 45 minutes away from my hometown and I didn't even know how to cook. I went home every weekend to spend time with family and friends, and my grandma cooked my meals to bring back to the apartment. Ahh, the good life!

Here I am though, another point in my life where I am going to live many experiences and learn many lessons. This year will be one of my prime years I am assuming! In high school, I was excited to start college and when I entered college and experienced that part of it, I was eager for more. My goal, even before being admitted to college, was to study abroad. Diana Tran was my source of inspiration! She was abroad in Spain for a year and I just thought that was totally awesome. I knew that I wanted to do it! Soooo yeah I'm here studying abroad in Hong Kong. It's totally different and out of my comfort zone to say the least. Different lifestyle, different friends, different food, culture, school, and different identity (I am very excited to pick up my HKID by the way!!). I did it! I'm going to pat myself on the back and be proud that I really went through it. And then when I'm done, I'm going to give myself an even bigger pat on the back for finishing the experience. Shiettttt.

I didn't expect to write what I'm writing about, but when I started to type, I just started looking back. I wanted to just talk about how it's been since I got here in Hong Kong...but I guess i wanted to stop and look back at how I got here. After all, this is my blog. Years from now, I'll look here and say, "Mm, I remember this. This was a good moment for me. Amidst the many midterms and the huge paper I haven't started on, it was a good moment."

Ok, good moment's over. I planned on blogging about Hong Kong and I didn't. Reality hits--it's 5 PM, Monday, and my research paper on a topic I have no interest in is due in 6 days. Once again, I fail. I am too sleepy to write more because writing about Hong Kong will be uber long. Sigh. Nap time.

A much needed and satisfied vacation.

San Diego was definitely a nice breather from the insane two weeks I had this month of midterms and papers.  From all the stress, my work paid off.  Usually it doesn't, but I guess this quarter's working out for me.  I'm hoping this continues and my work ethics are going to continuously be consistent with my grades.  One of the worst things you have to learn in life is that you don't always get what you deserve.  Hard work does NOT mean success for everyone, so when your hard work does lead to success, the feeling is so gratifying.  I have about...4 more weeks to go before Spring Break, so let's hope my current good academic standing does not faze this streak I got going on! 

Breaking the blogspot cherry!

Well, well, well.  This is officially my first blog on blogspot.  Xanga just emailed me and said "We miss you!" but I'm not quite sure if the feeling is mutual.  I use to regularly write and reflect upon my adolescent days; complaining about boys, ranting about how stressed I am from school, and just lashing out on the world of its unexpected and unpleasant surprises.  I wrote in a required journal for my high school Peer Counseling class and at random times on Xanga.  I stopped writing for myself for about...1 1/2 years.  It's been a long break, and I'm ready to start again.  Hopefully, getting random neurotic thoughts out of my head will put me to sleep better.  

Though blogging in a new website for a new start from my high school years feels different, I must say it is still the same.  I still complain about how smelly boys are, how school is a bunch of poodley doodley poo, and how crappy life can get sometimes.  I don't think I've matured that much more...but I wonder, why do I do it? It is very therapeutic to me, and I would love to someday look back on my archived blogs and see where I was at the time I wrote them.  As like everyone human being, I am constantly growing.  My ideas evolve and change, my body (unfortunately) is changing, and my mind expands from the knowledge I gain from the experiences during my college years.  To reflect and see how I have developed would be a learning experience.  Another reason why I want to start writing for myself again is to rid my neurotic thoughts, or shall I say...improve my thought processing.  Without my neurotic way of thinking, I don't think I'd be me...but sometimes, I honestly want to just clearly speak and express myself without so many thoughts running through my mind at once!  So anyway, here's to this first blog.  For self-reflection, clearer thoughts, and...anything I want to say.  Because this is for ME!  Oh, how it feels so gratifying to say that.